You are allowing me to walk among a peculiar people.
Getting up the learning curve of police culture is a process. Missionaries are sent to lands with different languages, ways and expectations. The law enforcement community is a foreign country to me. The deeper I go, the more I rely on You. Are discomfort, "aha!" moments and adrenal dumps Your ways of keeping my eyes on You? They're working.
I often feel inadequate, uncertain, a little scared. Your sons and daughters have guns, knives, dogs, armor. I have a Bible and I know how to pray. How could I serve unless You called? I heard You call; it'd be nice to hear You over doubts.
I hear You in their doubts. On the radio, between calls, over snacks and meals, I hear You through them. Do they hear You through me? Seeing the spiritual impact of coffee, donuts and burgers is difficult some days. Introducing people to You seems a lesser thing when I'm trying to stay awake on third shift.
You are teaching me police culture. Fixing my eyes on You reveals cops often feel inadequate, uncertain, a little scared. Worship helps me see; helps me serve. Worship helps me recover.
Bad dreams, hypervigilance and cynicism require recovery. Your radiance jealously smothers my ills. Prayer allows me to go again; to listen again; to wait again; to learn and laugh again.
May my work reveal You.
You are allowing me to walk among a peculiar people.
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